How society BRAINWASHES you to be AVERAGE

I remember one October, on a Saturday, when I was 11 years old, I read the entire “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” in one day.

I used to love reading.

I would read anything.

Fiction, non-fiction, encyclopedias, history books, science books - anything.

Once I’d get into the flow, like really get into a book, I could lose myself in it. I was absorbed.

I wouldn’t put it down to eat or even to have a shit.

But fast-forward a few years, at 14 years old - and I hadn’t even touched a book that wasn’t school-related for years. “Why would I read? I can get the same information online!”

And I went back to watching FIFA pack openings on YouTube.

When I was 9 years old, I remember I spent the whole morning trying to design a vacuum cleaner using these 2 plastic syringes and a tube I had found.

I drew up a design on paper, I tried out so many different ways of putting it together - until it kind of worked!

Fast-forward a few years, and at 15 my life was just: go to school → do homework → go on your phone. Why would I want to design, to invent something like that? That’s so cringe. Every invention has basically already been made by people smarter than me. What’s the point? Just chill and “have fun” now.

Wtf happened?

What had turned this imaginative, curious, ambitious young boy, into - for want of a better term - an NPC?

As I went through school, as I spent more and more time on social media, I slowly felt the influence of those around me. “Reading is for nerds - why are you trying so hard? Be realistic. Just chill bro.”

All the information around me that I was consuming made me feel like trying hard is bad, curiosity is bad - but “having fun” is good.

Not wanting to be left out, I conformed.

I know the title of this letter makes it seem like I’m going to talk about the “Matrix” or the “Puppet-masters” that are “controlling you”. But really it’s not as sinister as it sounds.

If you follow the advice of 99% of people, you get the results of 99% of people.

You end up average.

And this may not necessarily be bad - average is definitely better than below average. Average is nice and comfortable. Just like everyone else.

Just satisfied enough. Just content enough. Definitely not happy, but not so depressed either.

For some people, that is enough.

But if you’re reading this letter, you’re probably somewhat like me. You want something more. You want to improve, to get better. You want to do something great.

To do that, you have to be very careful with who you take advice from.

If you take advice from people who you don’t want to be like, you will end up being someone who you don’t like.

99% of people follow the scripts they are given, instead of writing their own.

“Go to school, go to college, get a job.”

Not saying there’s anything wrong with that - but why are you doing it?

Is it because you genuinely want to? Because you have a plan, your own script for the future, and this is one of the steps on that plan?

Or is it because that’s what you’ve been told to do?

These learned behaviours, these scripts, are prevalent in all of our lives.

Another big example is the stigma around work. We have all been influenced and programmed to think “work is bad”. That is the association our mind makes.

To try and work as little as possible, and have “leisure time” for as long as possible.

But as studies by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (author of “Flow”) show, people actually feel most happy and fulfilled when working. When fully immersed in a task, when they can lose themselves in it.

And on the flipside, the times when people felt the most depressed, anxious, and overall just down was during the so-called “relaxation” time - because this is when the negative thoughts and the reality of their situation could set in.

Especially when combined with the harmful activities most people indulge in during the leisure time - social media, video games, alcohol and junk food consumption.

You might be reading this and think - “well, that’s not me. I wish I didn’t have to work at all!”

But that is simply not true.

All humans need some sort of meaning or purpose in their lives. A reason to wake up.

You ever get that feeling when it’s a Sunday morning, you haven’t got any plans for the day, and you’re laying in bed, just with no reason to get out? So you just lay around there in a state of slight discomfort for hours more.

Remember that study from earlier? It also found that the time when people feel the worst - is on those Sunday mornings (if you don’t go to church).

But you have been brainwashed by everything around you - the media, the consumerist culture - to think that what you need to really feel happy is less work, and more indulgence.

You need to follow your own script, and not the one that has been given to you.

How do you find this script? Just carry out this simple exercise from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” with me:

Picture you’re attending a funeral of some acquaintance.

You walk into the church, you can see and smell the bouquets of flowers, the warm sunshine through the stained-glass windows.

You see the mourning congregation slowly bustling into the church. Then you walk up to the front, towards the coffin - and you see your own face looking back at you.

This is your funeral. You look around, and see that the faces of the people attending are your family members, your friends and work colleagues.

Then after everyone has sat down, one by one, people begin reading their eulogies. Your parents, your friends, your colleagues, your community - one by one they come up and read out a speech about you and your life.

What do you want them to say?

How do you want them to remember you?

What impact do you want to have made in their lives?

This is how you can really identify your values. This is how you should lead your life.

Really think deeply about this. Pause the video, close your eyes, and just visualise your own funeral, and how you want the people in your life to remember you.

Once you’ve really done this, you are in a powerful position. You are beginning with the end in mind. You have an outline, a guideline for your life and your character.

Now, you can think about setting goals - but make sure that they are in line with these values you have identified.

This is how you live life by your own script, instead of what society programs you to be.

Hopefully this gave you something to think about.

Until next time,

Yvan

P.S. I just made a full guide on fixing your mind - click here to watch

(skip to about 3 minutes in)

It’s probably my most important video yet - you don’t want to miss it.

Click here to change your life.